For me, the main thing I’m grateful for, has been making it through most of my second weekend sober, so far. I’m grateful for feeling a little more in control of myself and my life, although I’ve definitely got some issues with anxiety, in general. I’m grateful for being here, sharing my feelings when I am having to overcome a great deal of fear and insecurity to do so; but overall it’s been gratifying to have this new found journaling project at hand.
I keep asking myself, how in the world am I even making this sober mama journey happen right now? What exactly is it that’s keeping my mind focused on this journey? Why now? I’ll probably never truly know why this time seems to feel more concrete than all the times before, but part of what’s helped so far is just keeping busy and trying to stay positive and keeping a pep talk going in my head that I’m doing this to be a better, healthier, more positive person for those I love and for myself.
HERE HAVE BEEN SOME OF MY GO-TOS OVER THIS WEEKEND
- Spending quality time with my daughter!
- Getting some great work done for my transcribing job
- Jogging in nature the past two days
- Reading my daily devotionals and having time to reflect spiritually
- Going to the BOOM community and reading others thoughts and sharing mine
- Brainstorming about various projects such as blogging, button fairy making and starting my gratitude journal
- Cleaning projects around my house in very small blocks of time and rearranging decor
- Finding a new chicken pot pie recipe to try out (my husband actually suggested we attempt making the puff pastry for it ourselves today!)
- Researching temperance history and going down into rabbit holes learning about various people and events
- Reading emails from various sobriety resources I get delivered to my inbox
In this very early phase of sobriety, although I have some moments of uncertainty emotionally and plenty of urges to want to drink, the one thing that’s kept me relatively sane and on track is finding projects to do and just trying to keep my mind/body busy. There have been the moments of anxiety too in which it was very important for me to stop and acknowledge I needed some quiet, relaxation time; aka bubble bath time and candles. A big shift in my thinking is going to be so important to this journey. The shift to recognize that I can find ways to handle my anxiety in a more healthy way. Drinking was my go-to solution any time I felt anxiety coming on. I never learned how to give myself the self-care I needed. I’m trying hard to change that, but it’s a work in progress!
What do you have to be grateful for this weekend? What can you do to keep your mind off of drinking? Write some ideas down. Even if you don’t end up doing them, it’s a great idea to have somewhere you can refer back to. It’s nice to see them visually from time to time when you’re feeling foggy and unmotivated.